How To Plan A Wedding Around Family Dynamics
Weddings are amazing, there’s no getting around that fact. Still, family dynamics can sometimes add a layer of stress to our already overwhelmed mind. If you think you might fall into this category you’re not alone. Here are ten tips to limit the drama during this celebratory time.
Communicate - Be honest and real with your family about your expectations for your wedding. Notice how I made that bold, yeah, that’s because your opinion is more important than anyone else’s when it comes to your wedding. If we keep things honest and express our expectations clearly we’re less likely to misinform people. The less misinformed people are the more smoothly things will run and the less worry we will have (classic win/win situation).
Set boundaries - Establish clear boundaries early on (especially if you have a lot of over-steppers in your family). Let your family know what is and is not acceptable when it comes to their involvement in the wedding planning process. Say it in a nice way but make it known exactly what you’re comfortable with them doing.
Stay organized - Create a detailed schedule for the wedding. Having a well organized plan can minimize stress and confusion, allowing everyone involved to know their roles and responsibilities.
Consider compromises - In some situations, compromise can be beneficial. Be open to hearing your family’s suggestions and try to find solutions that accommodate others as much as possible. Many times, just knowing that they’ve been heard and considered will be enough to keep it conflict free.
Delegate tasks - Assign specific tasks to family members based on their strengths and interests. This can make them feel included and valued while also lightening your workload. This can be especially helpful with family members who like to be involved in everything.
Get support - If family tensions become overwhelming or too difficult to handle on your own consider talking with someone you know will hear you out. Weddings are big events and a lot can be brought up during the planning and even on the day. Make sure you have people you can trust to share what’s going through your mind. If you don’t have anyone who fits this role you can always look into private therapy or therapists who specifically focus on family dynamics.
Focus on your partner - Remember that person that you’re crazy about, yeah them, they are your rock. If things get loud try to get yourself back to neutral and refocus on your relationship rather than get caught up with all the noise.
Self care - Take care of yourself during this potentially stressful time. Make sure to get enough rest, exercise and engage in activities that help you relax and unwind. While it’s true that you should expect a lot of work planning a wedding, the work doesn’t need to be uncomfortable or stressful. Download my complimentary Engagement Guide for tips on how to make this time enjoyable instead of overwhelming.
Backup plan - Prepare for potential conflicts or disagreements by having backup plans in place from the very beginning. This could involve having someone as a mediator or a Plan B set up for certain situations.
Be flexible - Even with a plan B, C, D and E, sometimes things may not go as planned. Be flexible and try your best to adapt to unexpected situations. It’s not always an easy thing to do but you will be far happier during the process than if you stay rigid and unmoving.
No two families are the same and it’s important to find strategies that work for your specific group. Hopefully these tips will provide a starting point to get through the difficult stages without any hurt feelings.